Loving Our Laylabug: The Life She Has, The Future We Want

Flowers, breakfast in bed, handmade cards and a trip to my favorite bookstore: simple pleasures and affection from my family made my Mother’s Day joyous and next weekend, we look forward to yet another milestone: the birthday of Baby Girl on May 21st.

With Darius’ graduation and the girls’ annual dance recital just around the corner, we have just enough energy for a low-key in-house affair full of sweets and treats. However, what I truly want for our firecracker of a daughter goes far beyond ice cream, cookies for her classroom or lit candles on a birthday cake signifying the seven years that she’s enriched our lives.

Layla ultrasound present 2016

I want Layla to have, as many parents do, a smoother and fairer life than the one we brought her into. Yes, our daughter was born during the administration of this nation’s first-ever black president, but still faces the reality of being seen as ‘less than’ for simply being a black girl. If the status quo remains as is, Layla will apply her smarts and continue racking up achievement awards, but will still get paid less than a man during her career. If she chooses to marry and start a family, the company she works for may balk at paying for maternity leave or fire her first, since more lip service is paid to the duties of motherhood rather than actual dividends.

Time will soon reveal who our country’s next leader will be, and according to the United States Census Bureau, Layla and her older sister Nia will join their non-white peers and become the largest group of children in the nation by 2020. Will she still face the risk of overly-punitive discipline measures that regularly impact African-American students today, or catch extra shade from the uninformed for daring to wear her natural hair and love her heritage?

Layla in class, V Day 2016When it comes to raising children, parents soon realize that the days seem long, but the years run short. Once a chubby-cheeked and doe-eyed infant, today our ‘Laylabug’ is a sassy, pint-sized package of personality. She’s a kind, curious and confident little girl, one who can debate her big sister into oblivion, hangs out with big bro for Simpsons marathons, roughhouses with Daddy and practices new hairstyles in Mommy’s locs. Every day is filled with new tales about the fun and faux pas Layla is learning while in first grade and bold ambitions for the future: a school teacher one day, a hair salon owner the next. She may be my ‘mini-me’ in appearance, but our daughter’s gifts are her own and we look forward to watching her discover each one.

Baby Girl Love 2016

As I try to imagine our birthday girl as an adult, I try to temper any apprehension by remembering a quote made by the late, great Malcolm X: ‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” So the best that any of us can do, for all children, is to give them a firm and unwavering foundation to build upon, fortified by our lessons, paved by our mistakes yet made smoother with perspective, love, and support. And even if the candidates running for this land’s highest office don’t know Layla personally, maybe they can think of their grandchildren, what type of world they all could inherit as a result of their decision-making and strive to make it better than what came generations before. It’s a wish that I hold close to my heart, and will continue to hope for, no matter how old our baby girl becomes.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Dijourian Irby

    beautiful and black baby girl growing up in a hateful world where she will be judged because of her gender and race. the only thing to say is good luck and may god be with you.

    July 27, 2016 at 1:36 pm
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