Unrelenting scrutiny, constant criticism and living a life with magnified imperfections. Most adults can’t imagine this type of existence, so what is it like to endure it all as a “preacher’s kid’? Sarah Jakes, one of five such children and youngest daughter of prominent pastor Bishop T.D. Jakes, shares her public struggles and private heartbreaks in her newly memoir, Lost & Found.
Jakes details the family’s humble beginnings in West Virginia, their move to Dallas and the sacrifices that her parents made to raise the kids and grow their ministry. In 2001, the congregation at The Potter’s House was swelling and father graced the cover of Time Magazine as “America’s Best Preacher.” Sarah, age 13 discovered she was pregnant and faced all the contempt and condemnation that a gossiping public could dish out: “Within days [of returning to church as a teen mother] the letters started flying in. Some were lending me their strength, others were forsaking my future and then there were the really ugly ones. The lady who sent me a blanket to wrap my baby in when he died, since she just knew God was going to take my son from me because he was born out of sin…..Worse than the letters were the stares. The deacon’s wife who had once hugged me each time she saw me now made it a point to turn away.”
The heartbreaking lessons Jakes would internalize about grace and self-forgiveness didn’t just stop with the birth of Malachi. Years later, the 19-year-old met and married Robert Henson in 2008, a one-time football player with the Washington Redskins. Despite his potential, silver tongue and promises of happily-ever-after, the marriage collapsed four years later under the weight of his multiple infidelities, four out-of-wedlock children and a final fight on their front lawn involving a mistress, a car chase and a warning from local law enforcement: “When the officer finally approached me, he asked what was going on. ‘My husband brought his girlfriend to our house. I had a problem with that.’ I heard the words, but I didn’t recognize the voice. So this is what it’s like to be driven crazy, literally.”
Lost And Found, however, isn’t just about salacious details and the suffering that comes with them. It’s a story of a young woman struggling to find her place in the world, being broken down to the lowest common denominator and slowly putting the pieces back together again with equal parts scripture, family support and self-awareness. With a wisdom that belies her 20-something years, Sarah Jakes encourages the “lost” to reclaim their destinies after finding God’s purpose for their lives: “Refuse to be ashamed of your truth. It’s a part of who you are. …Scarred? Yes. Wounded? For sure. Afraid? Without a doubt, But you’re still here and that means you can do more than survive. You can live again.”
In today’s image-conscious society, there’s a heightened sensitivity about the flaws we fumble through as human beings. Sarah Jakes’ transparency about her inner turmoil dares readers to search within, move forward and recreate a more enjoyable and authentic life. And just like a spring day, that message is a beautiful one to behold.
